Howl

Coming from an ascetic background, I speak partly to myself

My tension is between “opposites”: spiritual/material, good/evil, light/dark, male/female.

Tho queer theory and feminism show the similarity between these tensions, interweave  manifest more tensions and do not ALWAYS equate.

Examples – lesbianism, the sexual act, pleasure, and the body.

All these have been equated with “evil”.

Whereas I will prove, the opposite (haha) is true. And are not “eve” il. Saying “eve” in the first implies the second. To free up words with my submissive tongue call that, rather, “love”.

I wrote a statement to my brother, since of late I have been called “mad” as opposed to this post covid bizarre capitalist state which it implies is “sane”.

And it occurred to me the statement may be seen as taboo.

It was “I want to howl at the moon/or the woman I love.” I’ll take up the mantle myself and defend myself against my hypothetical adversity.

Firstly, I have realised my physical form. A powerful form. I am not disembodied, a thought or an android. Thru martial arts I harnessed my own form. My masculine muscles, with my feminine flow state. My body wants to do as it pleases. That is my right. It is according to me if I give myself over.

I am spiritual. Within my body is daena, sho who seeks a way outward. She fights, she frees me to do what I want, regardless of what anyone says.

I have desire, OUI! Tho some may find it offensive, I crave a woman  I love the female form. The more candle wax, well I will be happy. Tho perhaps people will find that offensive (the trial). But I’ll not submit to a patriarchal law, and it is all my choice.

I go seeking. For tho I generalise this is written from love, my muse, only one. I go seeking even cruelty, as I go seeking the compass. My heart. 

And herein, the heart is bound by its own law. Thru “nights” of bullying, thru giving over.

Terminology: for an objection to this argument is all that can be based on.

They will say “eve”il and really, it’s just about killing lesbian love and expression.

The moral equation, which is to say, no justification.

From my perspective, most of YOU are evil. Only difference you have each other to lie to, and I don’t make the “law”.

I guess this is society and social “normality”. Which is to say daily deaths of the oppressed.

In which case I’m “mad” with glee. I’m mad in my desire to have another woman rule my body.

People – well, you perverts who are watching – I don’t talk to you.

Other lesbians, you internalised bag of hatreds, identifying as LGBT does not make me immoral.

Sado-masochists – well, oui, kinky sex rules through discipline arrives freedom, and tis for love, and love is freeing, and twists like a whip.

Cal Kalve