Mythos pretend rights

For about 30 years now, my sexuality has been violated by nearly everyone. It’s a myth, and should be an human rights abuse that a lesbians sexuality is always in question.

I get it worse than most, but I’ll tell you my story is just the beginning.

It started in high school…because it was uncool all people would call me was lesbian. I internalised a lot of hatred.

I questioned my own sexuality upon falling for a girl, and I like women…everything else – my anxiety, my shapeshifting – are irrelevant to that factor, which is my crux.

I’m back to calling myself a lesbian, to make it clear.

I wonder if anyone else knows what 30 years of being continually raped is like? Everyone thinks they can tell me im not a lesbian, some lesbians included, people straight themselves. It’s physical: it’s an attempt to define my body. It’s not innocent or just. People sit there or participate, becoming experts in hearsay.

Actions speak louder than words. How these good people justify raping someone en masse, how the hypocrites analyse every detail, and draw a map of their own psyche. Like walking down the street and seeing a man. And knowing if I continue to look someone will say I caught her looking…if I look away someone says did you see that? And she’s gay? Then laughter.

I understand people can be rotten. It boggles the mind how lesbians justify participating in a human rights abuse, because it’s made personal, I’m left alone, separated from the group.

Regardless of theory my case is an example of oppression. Lesbian rights, lumped in the LGBT movement have not really been addressed. Lesbianism affects everyone. It affects society as a whole. It’s the question, when coming out: do you dare? I dared, too, but have been raped for it.

Going red? She’s supposed to be a lesbian? But it was someone like him who cast the first stone, and thought it was their RIGHT to tell me what my sexuality was. And then I look at a man in the street think of the accusation, go red and a fresh accusation.

Such and such believes they have a RIGHT to tell me what my sexuality is, and I, given that I DARED say I was a lesbian do I have no right to my own body?

I dont care what hets say, I never have. But I care what lesbians think. That lesbians participate in something that seems so personal, but is in fact a violation of lesbian rights, shows me how very oppressed we are.

So, say I’m crazy, that I want a whipping, that I go red, or a bitch or a slut, perhaps it’s all true, but what rights in society I should have, I do not.

Cal Kalve