Locus of the heart

I am of course reading Corbin atm and so in keeping with his articulation of the relationship between man (yes – man) and God in Alone with the Alone, along with my own reflections of not being a cis male (thank holy God! Otherwise I too might perhaps think women were here for my own sake as well!)

It is because Corbin is so articulate that I am able to write this. So, in an odd way, it is entirely influenced by a cis male haha! That is the nature of the dialogue of philosophy however.

Corbin argument is nearly flawless except for one thing: the feminine.

Corbin says this: firstly, he discusses how “He” (god/dess) manifests through ourselves. Because of this, Corbin, I believe a gnostic himself, says we CANNOT separate creation from God, as God IS IN Creation “Himself”.

What a knot of history/language/culture/gender and sexuality not to mention it’s implications for philosophy and religion, in those statements.

So I’ll establish something at the outset: I was born and am treated especially now I’m growing my hair, as a female. And I do have to capitulate on terminology: if a trans male is someone who takes hormones and has surgery then I am not that. Maybe I should say non binary but that doesn’t fit me either. I’d tend to say I should be able to say what the hell I want, but if it’s going to be “acceptable” to everyone else I’ll say unique. I mean I thought the whole point of the LGBT movement just so you could be yourself, without having to explain yourself to other people but that’s all I’m doing.

With that clear, I’ll continue.

When I was younger I was very drawn to feminist philosophers Daly, Wittig, I think I may have read irigiray when I was drunk too.

And as a qualification I’ve made of late, like everything else in my life and the world, I owe most of my ideas to the Harlem Renaissance, yes, African American culture sold to us with a big white face.

So as usual I don’t claim ANY of these ideas are original. I can just articulate what I’ve wanted to for a long time.

One day I realised, as I was praying, that I said He when I prayed. It was like I was stuck in a groove and I’ve been, in truth, battling to face myself for years. For to say she is to add something. However God/dess is pulling back the veil.

How does one, psychologically speaking, escape, to paraphrase, “I exist in Him and am known through Him and through me He is known”? That is a metaphysical structure that is at the root of acceptable religion and patriarchy. And philosophy.

Question being: if what’s inside does not resemble a He of a cis male then what am I? How can I ever reach Him?B

But of course, apparently we just need a cis male for that! How could one forget? When it’s shoved down our throats every single moment of every single day? Uni, news, art, books and, gulp, social media!

Well a vast understatement: I beg to differ.

If anyone knows me, I don’t ram into things head first, I ram into them heart first. My heart is the structure of my metaphysical universe. And I would not call it He. At ones stage I wouldn’t replace He with She for it seems dogmatic. however in referring to myself I would say She now. There is literally atm an an angel trying to beat her way out my chest. My own heartbeat. I have followed what Corbin would perhaps call a “guide” my whole life, no matter what. I have had unwavering faith in this guide and God/dess.

That is my own personal She. And I’m sorry feminism, if that sounds sexist, and that perhaps you’re not the same. But that’s the point isn’t it? Different strokes for different folks. There’s no right path. The whole point is to show how use of He has fallen into that very trap and turned into a dogmatism. Answering another charge that I’m self obsessed and non academic. I am not trying to create another dogma. If I show what I’m like maybe you’ll take it, take part or leave it. I won’t say “thou shalt”.

Now to an idea, which may seem to directly fly in the face of that comment: so I’ll begin with a qualification: these are my thoughts and there’s many different groups in society, and society would be better cohesive, not divided and conquered, that ancient style of warfare. It’s a limitation, but necessary.

Another recurring theme – why are we so separate from nature?

Well the glove fits above, right? I’m sorry to say, I can NOT not think of nature as a beautiful woman. And why the constant association throughput history? Put something in the ground, it grows. Fuck me! But that is amazing! However you frame it, it’s miraculous.

It grows…is that bad and sinful? A bit of grass grows into adulthood – is that wrong and corrupt? No it’s PERFECT and beautiful, muraculous and happy. Is that grass just being used by Him? To express Himself as if the grass were some female sounding board actor for His part?

Aaah, yuck! And how horrid!

Another recurring association – the heart and life. My heart as my spirit, and life. My heart which loves life. Life which gives me a heart. Not necessarily an ad or a human on the street judging me life, but green, love of waking, joy in movement, life.

That is life. If love is love for loves sake the physical is just so. That is completely unassociated and disconnected from the disgusting hedonism expressed in our society.

Trapped in the mind, humanity finds the physical a house. The physical is also spiritual, there is no difference, it’s all in your brainwashed mind. And people, we are living beings, not an algorithm that occasionally needs to orgasm as if it were defecating.

This, I think is where Corbin was trying to go with his imagination. Only he got stuck in his own intellectual trappings. I’d perhaps had been the same only, my heart, always, my heart. Now to me, to pour fresh water for someone to drink or to dance are just as expressive of God/dess as this written piece.

Like a true Celt, this has no ending. I can’t solve any problems and my word is not final and I’m always evolving. Like a shapeshifting process that changes very similar in style, you must say to life.

Cal Kalve